Whether you are married or single, you most likely have a view on what Valentine’s Day should be like. Many women insist on having a special date of some kind, whether it means having a special meal prepared for her or going to a special place on a date.
Is Valentine’s Days special for you? Do you insist on going out for dinner? I use to be that way. In my first marriage, I did insist on going out for dinner. I wanted flowers and I was disappointed if I didn’t get them. This is what I had learned from everyone else, should be done on Valentine’s Day. So we did the traditional thing. Was it really special? Looking back now, I don’t think I felt any more special on that day, I just felt like we were going through the motions, because that is what we were suppose to do. It was proof that we were in love and happy.
Strangely enough that marriage lasted four years. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We were definitely not right for each other from the start. He had a completely different lifestyle than mine. I could not get use to his. I thought, because he was a musician and I loved music, this could last forever. Turns out I was quite wrong. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but this wasn’t it. I didn’t think I would ever get married again.
Two years later, I was engaged on Valentine’s Day. You would think that since we were engaged on Valentine’s Day, it would be a big deal for me to celebrate this special day every year. In the beginning it was important to me to recognize this day as special. Probably for the first ten years of our marriage, I still insisted on celebrating Valentine’s Day as though the world would fall apart if we didn’t.
Somewhere along the way, the celebration became less important to me. I’m not sure when, but I do know why. I realized he treats me special every day. He brings me tea in bed sometimes, just to be nice, just because he wants to. He cooks dinner, way more than I do. He checks in on me at work to make sure I am okay, etc. Once I realized that, I didn’t need to have the big celebration. One day is not any more important than another. Not even our anniversary. He certainly would if I did insist, but I don’t. Of course we say, “Happy Anniversary!” and we make a big deal of it between him and I, but that is it. I’ve never really been in to going out to a restaurant, so this, in a way, was letting both of us off the hook.
It’s kind of funny that I love Romantic Comedies. I love that people fall in love and celebrate. The romance, the fairy tale weddings, are wonderful. I absolutely adore Cinderella stories and more. It just isn’t the lifestyle I would want for myself. Funny again, I have all the Cinderella costumes, Elsa, Anna, Beauty and the Beast and so on. I do love taking photos of people in costumes, especially when they want the “Royal Treatment.” I even get dressed up in them once in a while myself and do photos. It is a fun, fairy tale fantasy when I am all by myself. In real life though, not for me, heck I rarely wear makeup! That is a story for another day.
If I was single, without a partner, would I hate Valentine’s Day? Would I be wishing I had someone to spend it with? In previous years, maybe. These days, I think, even if I were without a partner, I would not consider it a good or a bad day. It would be just like any other day.
What is your idea of a perfect Valentine’s Day? Do you celebrate? Is it important to you? I would love to hear from you, please leave your comments below.
Not just one day, but every day, Don’t forget to love yourself for being you.
photo by me, Nancy B.
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